Do managers need simple parenting skills?

A co-worker asked me to draft a post for a program she had recorded with a family counselor. I picked up her notes and went to town.

"Disciplining your child is a challenge all parents face. Decisions revolve around what is the right amount of discipline and what is too much."

I drilled down through the notes typing 90 miles an hour.

"Here’s another thought, what if when you asked your children to do something, they did it right away?"

I wrapped up my work, sent it to the printer and slung my draft on her desk with a smug smile.

She reviewed my output, peered at me over her glasses, sighed and tossed it aside. "That's not what we talked about at all."

I put some time and effort into that draft and thought I should get some mileage out of it. I rewrote it for the 360 Convos blog. EXCEPT, instead of discussing parents and children, I substituted boss and employee.

Here's what I mean.

"What if, when you asked your employees to do something they did it right away?"

(Here's the rest of the 'edited' article). That is the approach, one consultant takes when she addresses this issue with frustrated managers. She identifies it as ‘first time obedience.’

Consider her assertion that once you have to say something twice, you’ve made yourself weak.

She suggests, "Say it once and get action."

How?

She uses a simple three-step process, but don’t try it just one time and give up. To see measurable results in behavior, managers need to try these steps on employees for at least a month.

The first step is to avoid questions. Being a manager is a position of authority, and not one of peer-to-peer, so she recommends starting with a statement. "Please turn off gmail and clean your desk."

The second step is a question, but offered in the form of alternatives, for instance, "Do you want to turn off gmail and clean your desk, or would you like me to?"

Over time, employees learn that the choices the manager offers may have negative side effects when they don’t respond quickly.


The third step, well, for this the consultant suggests you ask employees to leave the conference room. It is the secret that makes the technique work. The manager needs to not ‘care’ what decision the employee makes.

Overall, her advice is for leaders to give themselves time to see the results of using the three-steps and to keep up their efforts, even when the employees don’t appreciate it.

"Don’t expect adult behavior and don’t expect perfection. Prepare for the long haul." She also says, "Employees may not say 'thank you' until they retire."

The goal is to help managers develop employees with good problem solving skills who have the ability to build healthy work relationships.

~end of edited article~

If you have parenting questions, feel free to pose them on a parenting blog.

If you have employee questions, feel free to make something up.

It appears I did.

Riding the wave of change

Surviving in today's economy is as slippery as a surfboard.

Today, the biggest obstacle we face is change. Business models have to change. Companies have to change, which mean, in order to survive, people have to surf the crest and roll of changes.

Our ability to cope with this 'business tidal wave of change' may mean the difference between a relevant career and one that slips and gets buried in the next big wave of upsets.

In the book, A Sense of Urgency by John P. Kotter, the theme of change is abundant. From the preface on, Kotter pegs our ability to change with the ability to survive, except he calls it the ability to operate with a sense of true urgency.

In his research, he noted that in the cases where “substantial change was clearly needed” 70% of launches to change not only faltered, but absolutely failed, but 10% of the launches achieved more than anyone could have imagined.

What separated the 70% from the 10%?

Organizations that were able to “create a high enough sense of urgency among enough people.”

Kotter sketches the outline of relevant people in an organization and asks us to assess their sense of urgency. Then he asks us to support our answer with evidence. The evidence has to be more than working hard. Frantic activity can be false urgency. It's that flurry that happens right after the boss cracks the whip.

For over a decade I worked as a salesperson and saw the short-term and long-term results of cracking the whip. Inevitably, it launched unsustainable effort and a frightening atmosphere on the sales floor.

The next few years, I managed salespeople, some who survived the latest devastating economic downturn and some who did not. On both sides of the fence—sales and management—the demand for urgency rose to tsunami levels and threatened to drown those not getting on top of the curve of the wave.

Earlier this year I asked the question, “What opportunities exist and what risks?”

When a career is on the line, a sense of urgency can be extremely high. But if a salesperson operates with desperation, the end result is less than satisfactory for everyone involved in the transaction from inside the office all the way to the customer and back. And if the salesperson operates in a bubble, believing that the problem is everywhere else, the results can be just as devastating.

The opportunity at hand is learning quickly how to ride the wave of change, and recovering quickly when we fall off our flimsy surfboard and rebalancing.

It's recognizing opportunities at hand, embracing the risks and realizing we need to operate with a sense of urgency.

Who have you seen 'surfing' business changes and surviving? Drop me an email, I'd like to explore this topic more.

Lessons learned

At the office, we talk a lot about lessons learned as we endeavor to build a new company from the ground up. There is no mold we can throw the bronze of our efforts into and reap the benefit of a perfect replica of the reality we are trying to shape.

My desk on the first day: mom cup, Engedi Cafe coffee card, blue feather pen,  glasses and  picture created especially for me by my daughter

The team varies in age and varies in area of expertise. Mostly, up until now, the individuals had functioned independently. The nuances of learning to dovetail our efforts, is a challenge. Nothing is quick. Nothing is quite as planned. Nothing is quite as easy as first imagined.

Each day is fraught with disappointments for at least one member.

The ability to set self aside, the ability to work at communicating, to offer insight into what is second nature to one and completely foreign to another will define our success.

I am hopeful and excited and challenged.

So, how was your day?

Unlocking better habits is like winding a watch

Unlocking the blue door for the last time.

I pulled out an old watch I hadn't worn in a decade. The time on it's tiny face had stopped. I threw it in my pocket and at lunch dropped into the local jeweler to buy a battery to get it revved up again. The jeweler grinned and fiddled with the watch. "It doesn't have a battery. It's the wind up kind."

My head came up sharply and felt my face flush. I eyed him. He didn't smirk or comment on what an idiot it was to visit his establishment. He gazed down at the work at hand and rolled his thumb and forefinger over the tiny gold button-gear. When the watch was ticking solidly he handed it back.

I left the store and stopped at the corner before crossing Evergreen Boulevard and paused. How much of life do I expect to happen automatically? How much do I take for granted because it takes so little effort, takes nothing more than a sliver of metal that converts the chemical energy contained in its active materials into electrical energy that performs phenomenal tasks?

I take too much for granted.

One of the things I took for granted is the phenomenal team I worked with at the paper. On my final day, I bemoaned the fact that I hadn't praised enough, hadn't acknowledge the many simple and complex tasks people did to make the company a success.

I made my confession during my exit interview and the human resources manager didn't criticize or add fuel to the fire of my personal guilt. She simply said, "Take the learning experience forward, and do it better."

I think if we're smart and attentive we can learn from the mistakes of others. There isn't a need for all of us to make the same mistakes. So, turn to the person next to you and think about something that they do to make a difference in your company, in your community, or in your life.

Tell them.

Say it sincerely.

Unlocking better habits is like winding a watch. You have to do it everyday. If you don't, your watch or your good habits stop. There is no battery of life to keep you on track and ticking except your own desire.

So, to my phenomenal team, who pursues their dreams in a great media company, I say, "No one can do what you do as well as you. You are the best. I'm so glad I had a chance to work with you.

"You made me better."

Never come back here without money

One of my new staff members encountered a difficult client situation. Customer claimed they had not signed a contract for the new 'WebProfile' services which we added to their account in February. The new employee, let's call him Don, researched the situation, found a copy of the original contract, compared the signature with the one for new services and it was obvious the customer had authorized it. Plus, we had received payment for the February billing. So, they'd agreed to it at least once and confirmed with their payment.

There were two brothers involved in the family business running three restaurants and each deferred to the other as responsible for payment. The only way we were going to resolve it was to get the brothers together. Don set it up. I told him I'd go with him and we'd get to the bottom of it.

I knew it would be an interesting conversation.

It was.

At the conclusion of our client meeting I contacted the credit department and asked that the new services be cancelled. We were only five days into the month, I didn't think it would be a big deal. The credit department sent this email to the project coordinator, we'll call her Sista:

Please cancel WebProfile for this account---Carol and Don just met with them.  If it pro rates, we will need to adjust off. Thanks, The Credit Dept

Sista expressed her dismay to me in a curt email.

I canceled it. There is no prorating. They will owe $150 for March. What happened?  -Sista

I considered how to respond to Sista. I could craft a curt email back, I was afterall the manager, or I could demonstrate why it would not serve our purpose to pursue the $150. I decided on the later and sent out the following and copied all the personnel involved:

We were in a no win situation. Client had a Ferris wheel of reps in a short period of time: Rep A, Rep B, Rep C, and then Don.

Client had a print contract soon to expire, was sold 'WebProfile' by Rep A. Client believed he could give us a check each month. Then we told the reps if customer does not have a credit line, the client has to pay up-front for three months. The only other option we gave them was for the client to put a credit card on file. Brother who signed the contract did not have access to the credit card and referred us to the other brother, noting that the other brother who had the credit card needed to approve/sign the contract.

We set up their 'WebProfile' using pictures from a web-site they forgot they had. It had menu prices from five years ago. They felt we were stealing the other guy's work by nabbing pictures from the old web-site. They noted that they never approved our profile site. That is, the brother with the credit card never approved it. The brother who signed the contract saw it and noted Rep A came in took pictures of the restaurant and was very nice during her visit.

I noted we used pictures from their Web-site to help them get started and show them what their profile page could look like. From there they had full access to upload any information or picture they wanted, the program is completely self-serve. They replied with a barrage of complaints noting they didn't understand why every rep we sent  tried to sell them something different: one sold them the print product, another online, and the current rep, Don tried to get them to keep both.

I told them Rep A volunteered to call on them when their prior rep retired, and Rep A sold them 'WebProfile' because she was so excited about it. They must have approved it as they had paid for it in February.

The brother in control of the credit card noted he had given the credit card number to Rep A, but said he never approved the profile site. Which apparently was impossible to do because he became increasingly difficult to get ahold of—he has four kids, he has custody of his kids, he is going through a divorce and due to depression he stopped answering his phone. He told his employees to write down the name and number of each caller and noted that Rep A did try to get ahold of him, but he told his employees "If it's important they will call back." He noted that Rep A did call back.

(Are you enjoying this, yet?)

The first brother told me never to send Don back to his restaurant again because 'he pushed me.' (Definition of pushed me: Don showed him his signature on the contract he claimed he never signed).

He agreed to complete the current print contract, but after that he was done with us. Since Don was kicked out of the restaurant he said I could come in and pick up his check. He gave me two days during the month to do this, and if I'm late I'm toast. He said he was wiping his hands of advertising at that point his brother could handle it. He was happy not have to spend any more time on it.

I asked the other brother if we could call him about advertising the restaurants. He said yes, it was okay to have Don call him. I noted that I have another rep who handles the north county area where he is located and he said he had met the tall, skinny guy who covered that area. "Bob?" I asked. He nodded.

Then the first brother got riled up again and threw in that he was mad because once we raised our prices. I explained commodities—such as paper—have fluctuating costs, but I don't change their ad price every time my costs change (like at the gas station), I explained I hold prices steady for twelve months, but at some point they must change. I detailed that the WebProfile project is our company's way of helping small businesses, that small businesses no longer have to rely on web designers who set up their sites, get paid and disappear. WebProfile puts their online pages in their hands, they control it, they can put their menu on it whenever it changes. They told me that their menu prices didn't change that often, it's too expensive to reprint a menu.

I assured them that WebProfile is a good product and that I/we would talk to the brother (with the credit card) about it again, because it is THAT good. And they are nuts at the moment. I didn't actually tell them that they were nuts.

I told the first brother that at a future date I would be asking permission for Don to be welcome back into his  restaurant. He relented and said, "Don can come in, but ONLY if he's eating a meal." I tapped my pencil to on the table top to the tune of 'Never come back here without money,' and smirked. Some transactions continue to have value.

He asked me if I understood their situation. I sai, "I am trying." I also explained that it was I who instructed Don to push him, and he said, "I'm not mad at you."

That I did not understand as I was pretty relentless to get to the bottom of their insanity and I'm surprised they didn't kick me out.

After I left, and I could speak again, I called credit and asked what was on the books for WebProfile and instructed them to cancel it. If the charge goes through we will need to adjust it off.

Just saying,

Carol

So, that's my conversation and email recap. What was the most interesting conversation you had this week?

Pulled in different directions, only one measurement counts: results

At the moment there is about six of me having six different convos. There’s The Manager writing end of the year summaries of accomplishments and big misses and delivering both tough and encouraging messages during performance appraisals. There’s The Mom trying to understand her teen’s motivation to suddenly change schools. There’s The Friend who is supporting new ventures and cheering each stop toward success.

There is the Northwest Native who is mesmerized daily by how the world morphs physically, and especially now as spring stretches and pokes her Pretty Pansies out from under winter blankets and taunts us by pulling her resilient friend Miss Weeds along with her. Next, there is The Writer scribing her second fiction manuscript, a task that is amazingly easier to tackle than the first.

And lastly, there is The Social Carol, aka The Classic Carol, who explores Facebook, Foodspotting, Foursquare, FriendFeed, Flickr, Gist, MySpace, Picasa, Plancast, Posterous, Shelfari, Upcoming, Yelp, Twitter, You Tube—you name it—and entices others to engage in real life at 'headquarters.'

But let’s start with the manager.

This week I shared a story with the sales staff I read in the book 13 Fatal Errors Managers Make: And How You Can Avoid Them. It was about a farmer, Walter Frank, who contracted a debilitating disease and learned at age 27 he would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Life as he knew it was over. Done.

Farming is a very physical activity. He could no longer craft a successful career in agriculture so he turned to sales, but not inside or phone sales, which would have been easy, he became a Realtor. He learned he could roll up to a house and ask for a listing, but can you imagine the obstacles he faced showing homes? He went as far as he could go and sent his customer ahead and asked them to describe what they saw. He went on to establish his own real estate company in Oshawa, Ontario, Royal LePage Frank Real Estate.

I drew the parallel that we do the same thing with our customers. We can’t be them, own their business and understand all the nuances as thoroughly as they do, but we do ask them to tell us what they are experiencing. We in essence see through their eyes, we listen to understand, assess their needs and match with products from our portfolio. There was some head nodding, as the sales staff relaxed into a good story.

Then I ratcheted it up.

No one would have blamed the farmer had he given up on an active life and left others to take care of him, collected disability and rolled into the sunset. But he didn’t use his disability as an excuse. Are we? The biggest obstacle we face right now is the economy, and no one will disagree when we say it’s hard out there, or blame us if we just get pooped out from hearing no after no. But in the end who do we want to be, the one who gave up, or the person who kept trying?

When you try, even just one more time, sometimes luck happens. Sometimes you’re in the right place at the right time. Maybe it’s not what you’re doing, but merely the fact that you are doing something, moving the air around you and taking advantage of the fresh breeze that blows back and gives you a second wind.

Don’t give up. There is something you can do right now to survive in business, even if its investing $3.50 on a used book from Powell's Books in Portland, or my one of my favorite book shops in Vancouver Cover to Cover Books.

What's your disability?

What are doing about it?

Supervising is a slippery slope

I ran across a grid I had created when I first became a supervisor. It documented questions I had of our department director. My plan was not to dart in every time I had a question, but to save them up, sort them by priority, and sit down and have a thoughtful discussion and record the answers for future reference.

Being promoted out of the ranks is a steep cliff to climb. Crevices that appeared to be good footholds disappeared as soon as I neared. More than once rock tumbled down the slippery slope as I gripped the side of the leadership precipice and toe-kicked helplessly trying to hang on.

It is almost laughable now—what I asked—nothing of earth shattering importance, more of sorting out responsibilities and understanding oversight of projects, attempting to direct attention to areas I felt were neglected, and questions on actions I should take to bring employees into alignment with established company guidelines.

I was sent on several missions. I wonder now if they were tests of my ability to step into a leadership role, or just traps I fell into of my own making. The odd thing is that the salespeople, whom I had previously worked side-by-side with, were more accepting of me as a leader than the sales assistants. When asked to alter a common mis-practice to better reflect company standards, one assistant snapped, “Someday we will have so many criteria and guidelines we won’t be able to sell anything.” Odd statement, I thought, from someone who doesn’t sell anything.

On another occasion my immediate manager was on vacation and the director sent me to give an assistant feedback on coming to work at set times as opposed to creating her own flex schedule. After I gently led her through the 'come to work on time' concept the assistant crossed her arms across, stared me down and stated, “You are not my boss.” I was dumbfounded and have no recollection of what I said in response. What remains is my total shock that anyone older than five would utter that sentence.

Pollyanna-esque, I ran confidently into the supervisor role, certain I was equipped with enough company experience, enough college management classes, and a thorough understanding of our company systems to succeed. Yet, surprises I never anticipated greeted me at each twist of the management trail, including that maybe it wasn't exactly what I thought it would be.

What was the biggest surprise you had when you stepped into management?